My (Mischievous) Thoughts On “Man Of Steel”

(***SPOILER ALERT!!***
If you haven’t watched “Man of Steel”, be warned that this post contains many spoilers. Do NOT read if you don’t want any suspense removed!
Also, if you don’t have any sense of humour, do NOT read on as well. Just go home with your sour self. :p )

So I (finally) watched “Man of Steel” recently, and I LOVED it! The makers brought joy to my geeky heart, and I enjoyed watching it with its glorious dialogue and make sense action (did you see Superman’s continual breaking of the sound barrier?!)

*bliss!!*

*bliss!!*

However, when some of the euphoria wore off, I decided to become a little mischievous, and point out some ‘issues’ I discovered in the movie. Some of these issues were subtle; others, not so much.

So…join me in satirizing exploring the three of them?

3. Dog v. Man

One of the scenes that really got me going “What in the world?!” was the one where Clark’s father died.

Now, there may be some of you that, well, this scene may make complete sense to you, you know, man sacrificing himself…for his dog. Beht for some others, um…

ARE YOU OKAY?!

As Martha (Clark’s mother) informs Jonathan (his father) that their dog is still trapped in the car, I found myself wondering, Hmmm…how will this play out? He obviously can not try and risk braving that looming tornado for a dog.

new-dog

???

As he ran the distance to the car, I was screaming: DUDE! Do you know how FAST a dog runs?! The moment you open that door, it…will…DUST…YOU! It will most likely make it, AND YOU WON’T!

And that was precisely what happened. Arrgh!

Don’t misunderstand, I get the whole “We never leave a man/dog behind” mantra of solidarity even in tough situations, especially if that dog has been with you faithfully for years, like family. But somehow I kinda got the impression from this that…oh, um, a dog is as valuable as a human life?

Seriously?

Now, perhaps some of you ladies may be reading this and saying, Deolu, shame on you! How can you be questioning such chivalry?!

If the reason you say he did this was chivalry, I have some questions for you:

Jointly raising with your wife an alien son with no previous biological knowledge of his species, is that not chivalry?

Raising said son with no external support, welfare, and in painful secrecy, is that not chivalry?

Instilling excellent and moral values into that son so much so that he turns out to be quite the pinnacle of discipline, is that not chivalry?

While doing all the above, also loving your wife even when it dawned she would never birth any (human) children of her own for you both, is that not chivalry?

Wait sef: being happily and faithfully married for that long in all these circumstances, is that not chivalry?!

Why would he be required to do something this dangerous to ‘display chivalry’? I should think his track record speaks highly enough!

No, I don’t think the reason for this was chivalry.

So, what then? He was trying to keep his son’s identity a secret, at any cost? Here’s why I disagree with that too:

What this situation required was not for someone to run faster than a speeding bullet, or leap over a building in a single bound, but to just open a car door. That was all. Run…open door…run back. ANY one could’ve done that without arousing the slightest suspicion, so why not let Clark?

Further, Clark was younger, and therefore way more agile than Jonathan.

Clark had super vision and hearing, giving him a more accurate picture of how much time he had to do it.

Clark also had x-ray vision, making him able to know precisely what needed to be done to save the dog.

And of course, there’s always the simple rule of ‘playing dead’:

“Clark, if anything hits you that should hurt a normal human, play dead to reduce suspicion.”

“Yes sir”

And if all else failed, all Clark had to was run behind where everyone was, find something to cover his face, and save the dog – at least, that worked for this guy’s first trial at heroism

In fact, looking at all this now, I think it would actually arouse more suspicion if the lesser qualified option (Jonathan) went – people would be going, Just what does that old dude think he’s doing?!

C’MON! All evidence seems to point to the fact that Clark could have done this easy and NOT arouse any suspicion that they were worried about!

Well, just as science (a la the Mythbusters) has proven that Jack DIDN’T have to die at the end of Titanic, weighing all this, I am afraid I shall conclude that though what Jonathan did was brave, it was unnecessary. Beht hey, the script said young Superman needed a defining moment, so…

Lol…I can just imagine if it was me that did that, and my wife had to inform my parents of my demise. I can already predict their reaction:

brave

2. America Polices Aliens Too

On the world scene, whenever some dictator or rebel group goes haywire, or law and order breaks down, or perhaps even a war is looming, people usually cast their gaze towards the superpowers to offer direction, or at least superior firepower to quickly quell any disputes. Usually leading this pack (in the West especially) is the United States of America. It is a role taken so serious, in fact, that its Presidents are elected partly based on how they plan to project America’s military strength, and what they hope to do for not just America, but for other countries as well.

However, sometimes it just so happens that, being leader of the pack, America does most of the work, bearing most of the brunt of whatever crisis they wade into. Sometimes even her allies offer little aid. But hey, it’s America, right? They can handle anything, right?

Now, a crisis no one has ever encountered occurs. A threat bigger than anything ever faced emerges on the scene: aliens. With far superior technology. And physical agility. And with way more disregard than Hitler for ‘lesser beings’.

With such a great looming enemy, only one option is certain: bring in the big boiz! *now playing Ghostbuster’s ‘Who You Gonna Call?!’*

But something surprising occurs in this movie. While America quickly responds to the call, somehow, the rest of the world is fine just standing aloof, arms akimbo. No, no one objects to America’s tactics. No one applauds it as well. All you hear is…

Yes, nothing.

Could it be the world is fine letting America police aliens as well?

Do remember, Zod threatened the entire world – his message was broadcast on every medium of communication known to man currently, in all the major languages and on all the major continents…though Africa was surreptitiously missing…

kermit none of my business

How come no one else is seen responding, or even panicking? Did they have that much assurance America would do a good job?

Well, perhaps the fact that the alien ships hovered within American airspace didn’t help the matter. But hey, forget America’s allies for a moment – you telling me even America’s (fren)enemies were content to sit on the sidelines too and not burst in for some action of their own, when these aliens made clear they would enslave/wipe out everyone?

Plus, later on in the movie, one of those ships landed in the Pacific Ocean, which is in the perimeter of the European and Asian superpowers. The movie kinda made clear that if Superman didn’t destroy it, everyone else would have ignored it. Why did these superpowers ignore their own backyard?!

More staggering, even the UN and NATO were nowhere to be found! This is just incredible! I mean, what were the other super (and nuclear) powers of the world doing while America was having their butts handed to them?!

Kermit tea

CLICK HERE TO READ THE CONCLUSION OF THIS MISCHIEVOUSNESS 😉

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