*There once was a reporter who prided himself on being a daring investigative journalist. Having gotten the scoop on quite a number of gangs and cartels, he sought a new peak in his career, and decided to spy on one of the most elusive criminals on the face on the earth – none other than the king of Hell himself.
The following is the transcript of what he uncovered from his investigations, translated from spirit-talk to English with a hint of vernacular, due to the reporter’s heritage.*
*The reporter is perched silently in the rafters of the ceiling, spying through the small-drilled hole. The king of hell reclined in his office chair, whistling a tune this reporter didn’t quite recognize. Suddenly, three foul demons bust in.*
Lucifer: What the?! Can’t you knock first? Don’t you have manners?!
Demons: *In unison* In hell?!
Lucifer: *pauses* Good point. What do you want?
Demons: We have to report a desperate case concerning our project!
Lucifer: All right. Start –
*Just then, two more demons barge in, troubled*
New entrants: Lord of the underworld, we’ve met a roadblock, and need your help!
Lucifer: *rubs forehead, whistles tune again* Fine. I’ll attend to both of you in a m –
*Once again, two more demons enter the scene*
Lucifer: Whoo, today is a busy day! What do you want?
Last demon entrants: We are here with the rep –
Lucifer: Report too, abi? All right, fall in like so. I’ll hear all of you at once.
*Latest demons fall in*
Lucifer: Since I’m a cheat at nature and don’t play fair, I’ll let the ones who came in first wait the longest! *snickers, as other demons groan* All right, you who came in last, speak! AND BE QUICK!
Last demon #1: You gave us the task of destroying to pieces the destiny of a girl – codename…
(*They didn’t really codename her. The reporter was just stunned that the girl they named was someone he knew. To avoid any unnecessary scandal, and because he couldn’t fully process what followed, he codenamed her ‘A’)
Lucifer: *tilts head, recollecting* Ahhh…yes! So have you succeeded?!
Last demon #2: Oga, I swear you give us assignments that are too f***ing easy! (*Here on out, all cussing will be removed: the reporter just wanted to point out their speech was quite…um…‘profane’…and that’s putting it mildly…)
Last demon #1: As in…
Lucifer: Oh? Gimme the key point quickly…I enjoy hearing about the demise of one more soul!
#1: Well…all we did was simple: first, we bombarded her from her youth with thoughts of romance and ‘head-over-heels’ love – enough of our inspired movies and gossip from loose dorm-mates made it easier to embed in her!
Lucifer: *ponders to himself* I’m so glad I made that early investment into the movie industry.
#2: Next – and here’s the kicker! – we allowed her get convinced by her church folk that such love was IMPOSSIBLE to find in real life.
#1: We had enough over-religious in her congregation to make her believe that real love was boring and hard.
Lucifer: *stunned* WHAT?! You idiots! Why ruin all your efforts to waste?!
#1: Impatient master…wait till we finish na! As we were saying, after bombarding her with thoughts of lofty romance and passionate daydreams, we then allowed her get convinced through religious folk that such things were merely fantasy.
#2: This realization crushed her hopes of finding true love, at least the version we’d been presenting to her from youth.
#1: As a result, she ‘outgrew’ those dreams, and we made sure those around her celebrated her ‘becoming an adult’.
#2: But in reality, she didn’t let the entire dream die!
#1: …and that’s what we were counting on!
Lucifer: *eyes popping* Oh, you slick devils…*evil smile widens* I see where this is going! But do go on!
#2: Fast forward some years, and just when she wasn’t expecting it, we brought in a ‘knight in shining armour’!
#1: Honestly, from there, she started doing our work for us.
#2: …for because a part of her thought it was too good to be true…
#1: …and another desperately wanted it to be true…
#2: The conflict wrought havoc on her insides. Her logic fought against her suddenly awakened passions. She lost concentration in class, work, everywhere! She couldn’t think straight, talk less of pray!
#1: Plus, she was soooo grossly unaware of how her body worked, that she met her sexual feelings with confusion!
#1: Of course, we too fired up the lust engine in our bobo to the max, so he suddenly started desiring her and only her, doing anything and everything to make her his!
#2: It was one of our finest works!
*Other demons in the room get jealous, cussing as Lucifer is visibly pleased*
#1: We did run into some interference though…
#2: Ah! That her Christian roommate, abi? *spits to its side*
Lucifer: There was one of those around her?
#1: Yes, there was a Christian *spits* sister amongst her close friends. *spits again, then snickers* But our genius showed up there too…
#1: Easy! We noticed that the Christian *spits* sister was a damper on ‘A’s sin nature, keeping her grounded. So, we sent one troublesome fellow into the sister’s fellowship. This fellow generated a lot of controversy for the members about trivial matters…
#2: But it was enough to divert our dear sister’s attention away from our project!
#1: At the same time, we subtly convinced ‘A’ that the Christian *spits* sister didn’t really know anything about feelings, that she was ‘too spiritual’ and out of touch with reality to understand what real love was.
Lucifer: *applauds* I should promote you two for such stellar work! So where is ‘A’ now?
*both demons eye each other, wondering who should tell the good news, while trying hard to contain wicked laughter.*
#1: Long story short, she finally decided, as per our convincing, that all those people were wrong – such passionate love was real and could happen so fast and so risk-free!
#2: She succumbed to his demands. As expected, after 3 or so sexual encounters with her, he got bored.
#1: She was soooo crushed *squeals joyfully* that she couldn’t bear to see her dreams so realistically flushed down the drain again, this time before her very eyes.
#2: So, as of this moment our work is done: we no longer bring ‘knights’ to her – she goes out looking for them, to fill her void and ‘keep hope alive’!
#1: “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when it is found, it is a tree of life”1
Lucifer: *roars in laughter* Oh, my Enemy made them soooooooo STUPID! *all roar in laughter*
#1: Sir, before we hand her over to another lesser demon so we can take on another project…
#2: We wanted to know: what should we do as the coup de grâce? AIDS? Destroyed womb? Death?
Lucifer: *leans back in chair, pondering…* Hmmm…*Suddenly jumps!* Yes! *smiles wickedly* Of course she should get AIDS – that’s a no brainer. But more importantly, continue deceiving her that she’s just been striking out, that she will find her ‘true love’ eventually.
#1: *taking notes* Okay…
Lucifer: *smiles real big, unable to contain himself* And finally: you know she’s very eloquent, and has a way with words? Suggest to her to start writing books, or even begin a blog, detailing her encounters on her way to her ‘true love’!
#1 and #2: HAA!! You want her to show the world her shame??!! They’ll ridicule her and she’ll change!
Lucifer: Fools…don’t you see? With her crafting of words, her readers – like she – won’t see it as ‘fornication’, but rather as ‘trial and error on the way to perfection’, which is a scientific principle! They’ll celebrate, and even encourage her on with pity and words of hope!
*All demons breathe sigh of relief, then wonder at the utter malevolence of their master*
Lucifer: Onwards! Go tie the ribbon!
*Demon #1 and #2 fly away, to finish their nefarious work. This reporter would’ve followed them to detail their denouement, but this scenario struck him and revealed so much, he could only wonder if and how the remaining demons would top this. So, he stayed…*
“The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy.” (John 10:10 AMP)
To be continued iye!
1 – passage taken from Proverbs 13:12